Dud Sea Scrawls The Writing, clearly, is not on the wall!

I used to be an avid hiker couple of years back. Together with friends and family, we would visit even more exotic places of the already exotic island. I would climb mountains with the agility of a …monkey?, get down cliffs through the rope like … a monkey? I used to feel so proud of myself? Oh and specially when people would pause to clap?? I still tell people I ‘hike’, though I can’t remember the last time I went for a ‘randonnée’/hiking trip. I think I love saying over and over how sporty I am, I love the projection of a sporty me in the minds of others!

Anyway, so when the gals (read my best friends Mads and PrettyPlum) eventually got enough of my non-stop rambling, they agreed to join me for one so ‘hip’ hiking trip to please me. I chose an easy one for them, a hike of 12km on the beach, one which is so easy that even kids were invited to join.

ON the D-Day, last Sunday actually, our tasks and roles were well defined. PrettyPlum had to make veg sandwiches for me, because she didn’t know how to make a veg chocolate cake. I had to make the chocolate cake and Mads had to make non-veg sandwiches for both PrettyPlum and herself. As the official chocolatecake maker, I had a huge responsibility on my shoulders. We were back to the days when the three of us had projects to complete and each of us had to work out the pieces so as to add it all up later. We almost always did everything at the very last minute. Saturday saw me wasted what with some movies, and a party which I remember no more. So I only had Sunday morning (!!) to ‘work’. I was stressed and could almost hear Mads voice screaming in my head, “still not done? Where have you reached? Let me see what you wrote.” Et Merde.

If only I knew then, that my friends were no better off, I suppose I wouldn’t have stressed so much. PrettyPlum woke up at 5:30am, I woke up at 6:15am, Mads woke up on 6:45am ON A SUNDAY …. to prepare food! The chocolate cake looked awful but the girls thought it tasted good.

The hiking group had asked us to be on time for the bus as they wait no more for the ones who get late. So at 8am sharp, Mads, PrettyPlum and I reached the pick-up point, Plaza. There were a lot of people at the Plaza that day. Some of the younger fellows were sitting on the stairs which gave way to the entrance of the theatre, some oldies hung around the garden chit-chatting. I met Patrick – who was our guide and the tour organizer, a guy I knew from four years ago and who now looked so so so much older. I wondered why I ever thought of him as much younger in my head? Or was it another Patrick that I knew? I am still not quite sure whether they are/he is the same guy actually. Soon two buses came, and as the younger fellows headed to the blue bus, so did Mads and PrettyPlum and I….But then, the guide signalled for us to enter the red bus and that was when our adventure began.

Now before I continue, I have to mention that my girl-friends are quite special. They do not like to mingle with the usual crowd, they are quite finicky and they are quite different in a way. To expand further on the subject, when PrettyPlum was forced by her school to go to the orphanages, she spent a very horrible moment. She disliked it when the kids came close to her, when they touched her (I don’t think she ever let them touch her). In her own words, she did the kids a favour by not going there, she made them feel bad. Rest assured, she did not do those things on purpose, some people are like that. Mads? Well read on.

As we stepped on the steps of the bus, we couldn’t help notice that the guy in-front of us was wearing ultra dirty muddy clothes. We cast each other glances and whispered, “Either he just came back from a randonee or he is one very dirty guy” and giggled. It turned out that we nearly suffocated as our giggles died in our stomach and throats once we entered the red bus. The bus was full of such dirty people and all of the people in it were grandpas and grandmas!!

The bus smelled of old people. It truly did have that hospital like smell and to add to our plea, all the windows were closed – because of the cold. So the bus was not aerated at all. To add to our miseries, the girls and I didn’t get a three-seater, but had to accommodate with other old people.

Mads proposed we move out of the bus right then, “I can’t believe you did that to US. How could you?”

“What did I do? You came here on your own didn’t you? C’mon it’s going to be fun.” I looked around and was so unconvinced of what I had said.

“Let’s get out of the bus right now,” Mads barked again

“yes LL, let’s get out” PrettyPlum pleaded too.

“Girls we can’t do that. You must be kidding, we already booked. C’mon it’s going to be fun”

They looked at each other and I knew right then that I would have had to spend the day trying to make up to them.

Patrick and a toothless guide entered the bus, said hello to us all and the bus started off. I was so relieved, the girls were trapped now.

“I can’t believe I let you talk myself into this. I thought there would be young fun people” Mads wailed, “on a Sunday that too… I could have slept till much later. I hate you.”

“Look I didn’t know these people grew old so fast! Or maybe I got mislead about the group? I am sorry but we are together, we don’t need other people to have fun. I even brought champagne chocolate” and with that I removed the chocolates to share.

“Are you crazy? Put that back in, what will these grandparents think of ourselves.”

“Like they are bothered with us. Either they are engrossed in their newspapers or they are deaf. Look at the one behind LL”. We burst out laughing – the guy in question seemed high and lost in trance.

“It’s all your fault. Look we are the only ones wearing sandals – everyone else is wearing shoes. Are you sure we are going to the beach or is it to the mountain?”

“yeh I think it was the beach…”

“oh we can’t trust you. Mads you know how she is. You better ask your neighbor. He’s chinese”

“I don’t like this kind of Chinese!” The Chinese guy next to Mads was indeed not her kind of Chinese guy.

“Why don’t you talk a bit louder? Anyway PP, you wanted to come to this thing too, don’t be a hypocrite and don’t both of you jump on me like that…”

“well I thought it would be nice, my colleague was talking about the group… oh my god, we are going to walk on the beach and my hotel managers will see me. Oh my, how will I ever face the hotel people ever again. What will I ever tell them about the trip. We will be there on the beach, like a herd of cows and the three of us walking behind everyone else. Tourists on the beach will say, Oh look at those three, they must have had botox. Want to look young but can’t keep up with the pace. OMG, we can’t let that happen.”

Of course we were all the time laughing non-stop at our plight. It was pitifully hilarious.

“These outings are for people who cannot go out. We can, we shouldn’t be here”

“Well you are here now, nothing we can do about it.”

We all stayed quiet for what seemed like eternity. THEN we reached Curepipe, the next pick-up point!

“There i am sure some nice guys will get in at this stop.” Our faces were lit with hope.

(to be continued)