Dud Sea Scrawls The Writing, clearly, is not on the wall!

To: the.mrs@gmail.com
From: the.mr@gmail.com

Darling,
I got the note you left on the fridge this morning. Thanks, but I’m confused. I thought we had discussed your trip in detail, and you had decided not to go. What made you change your mind overnight?

Is this anything to do with Saloni? You were really not very nice to her last night, considering that she is your best friend, and that she took the trouble to come down all the way from Delhi to give you a surprise visit.

You’re the one who’s forever cribbing that I’m so rude to guests and I don’t know how to treat them properly. So I went out of my way to be nice to Saloni. Even though I wasn’t well (which is why I had taken the day off), I took her out for lunch at De Thaali – that swanky new restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to. She wanted to buy something for her husband, and that’s why I took her shopping to the mall, even though it took four long hours – you know how I hate shopping and never accompany you. And when she saw that “Race” was showing at the multiplex, she got so excited, and I was only fulfilling my duties as a good host when I took her to the movie. I really didn’t realize that you gave me so many missed calls just then, because I had switched my phone to silent mode during the movie. (BTW, was it the same movie you were so keen on seeing?)

I did as you suggested last night, and took Saloni out to breakfast before dropping her off at the airport. She told me that she had a very good time with me, and wanted to do this more often. I told her she was most welcome.

I’m sure you will agree that I entertained your best friend to the best of my abilities. I could have probably done more, but since I wasn’t well, I had to restrain from exerting myself.

Now, if you could only tell me what Saloni has done to upset you, I promise I’ll help smooth things out – I’m sure she’ll listen to me now. I think we’ve established a good rapport and she’s really a sweet, fun-loving girl. Why, last night, when we came home, she was laughing so much when I was trying to find the right key to the door. I was a bit taken aback when you opened the door with such an angry look on your face, and then you went off without even inviting us in, or talking properly to Saloni. Look who’s being rude to guests now, eh?

Don’t worry, I’m sure we can sort out everything as soon as you get back. Missing you so much – can’t you cut short your trip or something? Fall sick – like me!

Love,
Your lonely hubby

PS: Writing exercise - wonder if I’ll make the grade!
PPS: Salonii - no reference to you - notice my gal has one eye less and is less dash-ing!