Dud Sea Scrawls The Writing, clearly, is not on the wall!

Lately, Ashley and Ashi,  my colleague Ash’s identical twins have fallen into the habit of phoning me everyday now for the last two weeks. Now my dinner talks with the parents also includes the Ash & Ash sequence… The girls go to an English school and speak that language most of the time (remember I live on a French-creole speaking place). Some of their super cute stories:

Phone at Ash’s desk, whisper, “Mom, come home quick.”
Alarmed, Ash replies, “What happened Ash1? Tell me?”
“Mom something happening happening, come home quick!”
“What happening Ash1? Tell me?”
“You know, nana(grandpa) is screaming at the dog.”

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“Hi Ashley,  I saw you at the wedding. You were dancing with your boyfriend.” Ash had told me that the girls went to a wedding over the weekend.
“Never. He’s not my boyfriend. You know you know, he was smacking my back each time he saw me.”
“Oh really? Such a naughty boy What’s his name?”
“Dylan, Diksha’s brother..”
“Oh ok, then who is your bf?”
“Mine is Krish. I am going to marry him.”
“Ashi has a bf too?”
“Yes he’s Brandon. He’s a Chinese you know, he has tiny tiny eyes. In the school photo you don’t see his eyes” Then she burst out laughing.

Still on the bf line….
“Mum Victor told me to kiss him.”
“Really?”
“But I told him – Not now, when we get married.”

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When their Dad went to Germany, soon after the London attacks, “Dad, you be careful, the terrorists are shooting everywhere. They will shoot you.”

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After talking to me, girl feels like talking to my sis:
“Is Nuka your twin?”
“We could almost be twins you know.”
“How old is she?”
“She’s 24…”
“That’s not twins. You are not twins!” and laughing at my ‘stupidity’.
“Would you like to talk to Nuka?”
“Yes, but ask her if she can speak English. Ask her…”

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SMS from Ash1 goes like “Hi M, my friend. Wen we meet. May b some day. Kis me kiss u.”

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“M You didn’t phone me today. You only talked to Ashi…”
“Oh am so sorry Baby, my boss was here and looking at me with big big eyes.”
“Ok…” Ashley mumbles.
“What were you doing?” I ask
“I was writing a book.”
“Wow you are writing a story! What is it about?”
“Nooo it’s not a story, it’s a book. It’s about my party.”
“What party? I am invited?”
“No it’s just for kids. You know I wont give any card to Derrick. Last year I invited him he did not come. My card goes to waste.”
“Then you wont invite him?”
“No I will phone. Ask if he can come, then I send card. Else my card goes to waste. You want me to read you the book?”
Before I find time to reply, she is reciting some Xmas party story she has written down.”

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“Ok Ashley, let me talk to Ashi now…”
“She doesn’t want to come on the phone. She is lazy…”
Scuffle, screams and Ashi talks to me, “ Don’t believe her, she is a liar. I was just resting on the sofa.”
“Oh you were resting. Oh it’s so hot non? You get tired.”
“Yea it’s very hot. I need to rest.”

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The other day the girls went to their cousins place, where they lit a fire, added a bowl onto it, cooked vegetables and a snail! When it was time to leave, Ashley started screaming and yelling about wanting to eat the soup. When her mum told her the snail was dirty, she cried, “It’s just meat. You can eat it.”

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 Their stories have become the highlight of my day… More of these later