Ghar Ghar Ki Kahani
Thu, 2006-11-02 07:25 — India Whining
To Whomsoever It May Concern :-
"This is to certify that Messrs India Whining & friends are certified bachelors of Indian origins. They are highly domesticated & well behaved. They possess good moral character & impeccable house-keeping skills. They do not engage in any illegal nocturnal activities & are prone to return to their (own) beds before 11pm, that too, with only their fluffy pillows for company. Please feel free to entrust your property in their clean, caring & responsible hands."
Read more at http://parikrama.blogspot.com/
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yeah
I can just imagine IW saying that a la anupam kher in his effeminate role, with bent wrist, etc.
Oye IW, sharam kar!
Kuch bhi anaap-shanaap bakta hai!
Abhi tu apna paap kisi aur key galey mey daal raha hai?
Chi, chi, chi! Kuthey fedsheel hey paap?
Tu aisa bachpan se hi hai, ya singpore jaaney key baad hua?
Abhi tu kuch din hindi picture aur plays dekhna band kar - tere dimaag par asar ho raha hai (I mean aur jyada asar ho raha hai)!
ananth
apropos your statement “…I can still ask abt what 3 bachelors do at ur place which drives u away from each apt…”
I suspect their landlord/landlady’s displeasure may have something to do precisely with I-dubya’s cross-dressing tendencies. Abhi usko koi kya bataye? He insists that he writes about it only to obfuscate people’s understanding of himself, whereas I am inclined to think that the confusion lies elsewhere.
Can you imagine a guy hitting on bholi-bhali dss girls while proclaiming at the same time that he wants to cross-dress and wear girlie underwear like david beckham??
This singapore is a baaad place, I tell you.
Either that, or the poor guy’s mind has been traumatized by watching too much of chachi 420 and moruchi mavshi (original marathi play on which chachi 420 was based)
IW
I-dubya,
You give me too much credit. I really don’t have any clue about who is hiding what in whose closet. I say what I see. I saw you openly claiming cross-dressing tendencies and being in the closet, so I figured it must be you.
Now I have no idea why you insist that tocsin is hiding something in the closet.
Au contraire, I see a definitive and self-proclaimed tendency in you to think along alternate lines. And as they say, everything begins with a thought in the direction.
As Asuph says, we should not really mind where you find pleasure. So, I shall abandon my objections to your tranny tendencies.
But becharey tocsin ko kyu khaali-peeli badnaam karta hai tu?
Puneri Misal..
>> becharey tocsin ko kyu khaali-peeli badnaam karta hai tu?
Ohhhhh bechaaraa tocsin !!?? I kept hearing some unsubstantiated rumours that toc was seeing some dirty old professor behind my back (no pun intended). When he said he was leaving for Pune to attend 20 days workshop in Osho’s Aaashram, there was little reason for me to get worried. Now that i put 2 & 2 together, things are becoming suddenly crystal clear to me. No wonder atraa is getting all protective about tic-toc.
IW
Here is the resolution for your quandry over my statements.
)
Khud ki izzat bachao, duro ki izzat luuto
Ulta seedha mera advice nahi, teri nazar hi ulti seedhi hai isliye tu confuse ho jaata hai.
I haven’t read through
I haven’t read through all the comments. But it seems like people are stuck on the cross dressing bit. My only concern is that if you do go that route, please please don’t wear one of those pastel lime colored short bunty&babli kurtis. Cuz like that’s so last year. And like you are so better than that. I am thinking a nice cotton saree with a minimalist border (think sonia gandhi). I say this because I am your friend, remember that party in july when you wore that pink chiffon saree, with that sleevless blouse, and you didn’t even shave your arms, and everyone was like “oh no she didn’t”
welcome back my closeted majnoo
What took you so long my hyderaaabi sugarplum ??
I thought you were not one of those “kiss & tell” kind of guys. I thought you were a gentleman & khaandaani nawaab. Atleast thats the impression that I got on that misty evening. Yes, I am talking about that glitzy party hosted at your uncle’s farmhouse. It was supposed to be a “coming off age” bash for you. I remember it all, as if it happened just yesterday. How innocent I was to accept your invitation for a guided tour of the stables after the party got over. I should i have known better with a stud like you. Indeed you came off age that nite. You were a boy before you met me, I made a man out of you. Little did i know that man would one day turn into a beast
Kheir what is past is past, I don’t want to revive those painful memories. But since you are here, let me remind you that you are yet to return my intimate clothings which you had so shamelessly insited on keeping as spoils of your conquest. Now that everything is over between you & me, you have no moral rights over my personal treasures. I shudder to think how many such spoils you have hoarded in your closet.
Atraa, I guess you would be smart enuff to figure out which cloetted majnoos i was talking about.
“What took you so long my
“What took you so long my hyderaaabi sugarplum “
IW !!! man you on the roll !!!! Please shave ! Atleast now and then !
Eye DoubtYou
Dude!!!! I have tears in my eyes as i type this after reading your reply to tocsin….
every line! marshallah kia likha hain! Toc toc where are you?
“What took you so long my hyderaaabi sugarplum ?? “
“How innocent I was to accept your invitation for a guided tour of the stables after the party got over.”
I choked reading these few linesssss
God !
what all happens in DSS and do we have to really know all the gory details?? What will you guys discuss next? Shantam Paapam…I wont even think abt it. People - keep in mind some grown up children also stay in this site
)
IW - with that disclaimer and these comments, do u really think some one is going believe u? I can still ask abt what 3 bachelors do at ur place which drives u away from each apt but let me not put u in embrassing position to speak the truth as I know u wud not want to speak anything but the truth !!
Dil pe mat le yaar ( shud i add haat me ….
tocsinnnnnnnnnn
placeholders go away! tocs has come back.
(will watch from sidelines henceforth)
cheers,
asuph
Atraa, you are giving me
Atraa, you are giving me ultaa-seedhaa advice. On one hand you were telling me that “ek desi ke liye uski izzat hee subkuch hoti hein” & now in the same breath you are asking me to go get jiggy with it. Ab mereko ek bol- Izzat bacchau yaa izzat lootu ??
@ Maich Yeda.. (Der aaye, Doorust aaye)
Shooo go away & Go play with em’ doggies..
Laalujaan,
What are you doing here amidst all these goonda mawwali’s ? This is not a place for a young & innocent girl like you
IW
@ATR “Ees bandey ko kuch samjhao, bhai - yeh aadmi galat rastey par jaa raha hai.”
))) Atra, let him let him… to itch his own like you said.
arrey IW, you really are serious re…
what’s this “my pigeon toed lady like walk” and victoria secret as well!!! ET MERDE! do you roomates know about the bliss thingy???
the part about the photos and smiles… fun!
philandering ways??!
Dude, you are a living insult to the freedom of bachelorhood!
In fact, it would please me greatly if you did some philandering around, since we would have a nice stream of anecdotes then, instead of cribs -but what to do? you are too well-founded in living like a married man in spite of being a bachelor. Hell, you even have to cook like all the other married men!
Secondly, you seem to be under the impression that I am an ardent fan of psychology. To the contrary - I do not have the slightest of respect for shrinks or the figureheads of psychology/witchcraft, and you must take all of my psychological comments in the same spirit that they are made.
Boss, yeh aadha-bachelorgiri ne tere sense of humor ka bhurji bana diya hai. Instead of trying to dress like a gal to get a house, why not look around for landlords with daughters, or even pretty landladies? Yeh baat tere bheje mey kyu nahi jaati? You brain is going first to wearing panties like david beckham.
Anyway - tu sudharney wala nahi hai - mai kayku mera energy terepey barbaad kar raha hu? Maich yeda!
Forgive Them Lord:
Forgive Them Lord: They Know Not What They Do” .
More than the apparent concern, I detect a touch of jealously over my philandering ways 
Its fun to see you getting all worked up in trying to figure me out. Keep trying.
I was in my full hosh-O-hawaas when I used the word “conjugal”. I guess asuph & atra’s aversion towards the usage of the “C” word is due to the fact that I have used it in conjunction with “bliss”. All of my honourable married friends will know (by now) that bliss & marriage do not co-exist! And thats what seems to have taken the goat of my 2 married friends
Atra, the more you try to read between the lines using your favourite inkblot, pavlov, maslow, freud or whatever that you use to decipher my unwritten words, the more frustated you would become ! These days i am deliberately putting some red herrings to set you off on a wild goose chase
Now as for the blog proper, Yes asuph, I am the first person to admit (and know) that this post hasn’t got any meat. I had been sitting on a rough draft for more than 2 weeks! And it wasn’t going anywhere. I had 2 options, scrap the post & embrace my creative menopause OR post whatever that I could so as to re-assure myself that I haven’t come to an end of my blogging career. Its been really a struggle to conjure up something intersting while continuing with my monk like existance. This house shifting is the only interesting thing thats happening in my life right now.. ( And NO ! I wouldn’t want it to change , not even for the sake of blogging on more intersting topics)
Pradz Macccha, Thanx for your kind comment. I dedicate this post to you. Cause you asked me to persevere with it. Thanx for your encouragement.
Asuph, Atraa, You comments/hijacking is always welcome. Apun buzurg logo ki baatein dil pe nahi letaa hein kyaa ?
yeh bhi theek hai
Yes, perhaps I should not object to iw’s obtaining conjugal bliss in the unconventional manner that he wishes to find it. As they say - “to itch his own”.
BTW, a few days back i bumped into the first director of chachi 420 (sheorey, who left the movie for kamal hassan to complete it after some dispute)- maybe I should tell him how his movie has inspired people in distant lands to find conjugal bliss.
LOLLL@ chachi 420! asuph &
LOLLL@ chachi 420!
asuph & atra, your comments had me loffinggg :–))
yeah, asuph
Thank god you find this weird, too. I was beginning to wonder whether I was reading too much into things
Ees bandey ko kuch samjhao, bhai - yeh aadmi galat rastey par jaa raha hai.
I feel like locating IW’s mom and singing that jackie shroff song in front of her - “Amma dekh, aa dekh, tera munda bigada jaaye…”
IW, nalayaka - sangu ka ghari yeun aai-na, ki tyancha mulga pardeshi waeet margi lagla aahe mhanun?
atra!
i’ll have to break my promise of no-blog-hijack. i just said its serious, as in not casual. i won’t pass value judgements on iw’s ways. if he really finds conjugal bliss on any way that he chooses to follow, i’ll be glad for him.
regards,
asuph
okay okay
no more blog hijack.
iw, this one lacked the punch of your haircut piece (which is, i repeat, get my vote for the DSS blog of the year), but it made me smile. and back home the scene is no different for bachelors, and bahelors of non-indian origin, and so on…
hopefully the prospective landlords won’t make a pass on you in your chachi 420 avtaar.
asuph
conjugal bliss?
this is getting serious.
Whine-agraha
Why don’t you start some group called “society for prevention of cruelty to masala-cooking desperate bachelors of indian origin by non-violent whining?”
Think - who would dare to say no to you when you knock on their door and hand a visiting card that says that you are the founding chairman of such a group?
You can even take satyagraha a step ahead and create an entire social movement of “whine-agraha” or “crib-agraha” where all members come together and whine and crib together, thus forcing others to concede to their demands!
We all know how every kid can blackmail his/her parents by simply whining endlessly - even calvin does it.
So its a technique that is bound to work.
Mousi nahi Naani yaad aa rahi hein
Bachelor aur woh bhi Indian bachelor, aur uske uppar bhi pardes mein Indian bahchelor ka dard tu nahi samajh saktaa. Jab sir ke uppar ka chappar ood ne ki naubat aati hein na tab “Moru Chi Maushi” kyaa “Moru Chi Naani” tak yaad aati hein. Anyways that was quite fast mate. I was about to correct couple of typos, when I saw that U have already commented !
“If everything else
“If everything else fails, perhaps the day isn’t far when you would see me in a drag queen outfit, trying to con unsuspecting house owners…Next pit-stop would be at a Victoria Secret outlet to shop for padded bras & lacy stockings…”
Now why, why would a guy think of doing such a weird thing? Have you been seeing too much of “moruchi mavshi” or “Chachi 420” or something?
Boss, mereku tumharey upar bahut doubt aa-rahela hai. Yeh sab theek nahi hai, bhai!