Dud Sea Scrawls The Writing, clearly, is not on the wall!

It’s been a week since RDB was released ; the vote has been cast by the movie going public & I am afraid the verdict is splintered in 4 groups.

“the movie left me with a feeling of DREAD”
– Kauphy ( Ex. Pune Times Columnist.. Content Writer.. Medha Patkar in the making)

“A movie with a HEART”
– Vivek Sharma ( Poet.. Philosopher.. Physicist )

“It left me COLD”
- Scarlett ( Dreamer.. ChildWoman.. Ghaati )

“I want my money back”
- India Whining ( Single Available Bachelor )

Okay I was just kidding about ticket refund bit. To be quite honest, RDB did manage to create a favorable impression on me. I consciously didn’t read any reviews before I watched the movie. I had no clue what the storyline was, just knew that it was a new Aamir Khan movie. I feel, the way you react to a movie depends a lot on the kind of mindset with which you step inside the theatre.I saw the movie on the eve of 4 days long Chinese New Year holiday weekend so I was in upbeat festive mood & was determined not to let anything dampen my holiday spirits. On any other day (and in any other mood), perhaps, the critic inside me would have found 101 Banal Things (BTs) to say about RDB, but today I could list down just 5 BTs.

The point which this movie tries to make has been beaten to pulp in many movies before. The novelty of RDB lies in its script (& the cinematography) which seamlessly blends the sepia toned history with the garish happenings of today. The college canteen genre of humour, is what, endears this film to the masses. I may be wrong in saying this, but I feel, the humour of this movie would go down well with audiences from North & West India rather than someone from South or East India. The reason I say this is because, most of the punch lines (mouthed by AK) are delivered with a heavy dose of rustic Punjaabi flavour. I think my brothers from the non Hindi speaking states may find it wee bit alien & tad too heavy to comprehend.

Turning back to the 5 BTs which bugged me about RDB :

1> Indophile Firangee Protagonist :
10 minutes in the movie, I realized that, if i were to enjoy this movie I have to somehow erase out the nausea inducing sweet firang lady from the screen. It doesn’t help that she makes entry in Frame-1 itself & one has to endure her right till the last frame. Imagine a wide-eyed..rose cheeked..dumb..indophile Barbie.. & you would get the drift of what I am talking about.

2> Om Puri & Waheeda Rehman :
Om Puri is wasted in his minuscule role. Its sacrilege to cast someone of his stature & then relegate him to obscurity.

Waheeda Rehman hams away to glory. It doesn’t help that she gets to mouth probably the most clichéd lines. She deserves to be smacked on head for her theatrics & thankfully she does get coma inducing blow to her head during a laathi-charge scene.The director/writer pathetically tries to equate a coma stricken WR to problem stricken Bhaarat Maata. When the ill-fated mini-revolution staged by AK & gang succeeds, Bhaarat Maata slips out of coma with tears trickling down her cheek..Awww So heart rending.. So poignant.. So damn cheesy [Puke].

3> Lata Mangeshkar & Music :
Sadly some things don’t get better with time .That holds true for Lata ji’s voice . Her once strong melodious voice sounds weak & vulnerable. In a duet with Rehman, its Rehman’s voice which sounds more pleasing than hers, that does says a lot doesn’t it ?? Anyways, I am too small a person to critique a living legend like LM.. Her failing voice notwithstanding, no one can deny her rightful place amongst the immortals. I still have utmost respect for her god given talent . Barring the title track, the other songs fail to leave any lingering impression.

4> Meandering First Half :
The film takes its humorous vein too seriously in the first half. At times, I felt, okay enuff of this buffoonery.. “Can we move on with the story ?? At this rate I am gonna miss my last train”. I watched the 10pm Show, Some crisp editing would have saved me the “One Half” midnight surcharge that I shelled out for Cab.

5> Movie Ending :
The movie ends on a very pessimistic & simplistic note. One would have expected the likes of Kamlesh Pandey/Prasoon Joshi/Aamir Khan to think of more meaningful ending. The way it is, the cure seems worst than the disease itself.

Okay I don’t want to make it sound as if I didn’t enjoy the movie. I hardly laugh during the most comic scenes in movies. Most of the times when the whole theatre is guffawing, I am sitting there ( wooden faced ) in darkness, wondering if there is something wrong with me ?? or there is something wrong with the the juntaa in general. But while watching RDB, I did laugh heartily many times &, most of times my laughter was in-sync with the rest of the crowd. For this alone, I am ready to give passing marks to RDB.

Go watch the movie, if you want to find out which of the four categories of DSSrs you belong to.