Dud Sea Scrawls The Writing, clearly, is not on the wall!

“Are they allowing child marriages in India now?” I was asked by an interviewer once when I told her I was married. (A brief background to understand this utterance would be that I am 23 years old but look very young, so most people are unbelieving when I tell them that I am married for more than a year now. My marital status is not displayed by my attire or the complete lack of ‘suhhag-ki-nishaani’ on me). In my defence, I knew my husband for five years before marriage and had a live-in relationship for a year, so it just seemed the next step.

These are really strange reactions in a land where girls are married off at the age they hit puberty which could be anything between eleven and fourteen. Also ‘well-educated, culturally and morally sound’ parents cant wait to get their daughters off their hands, marrying them at the age of eighteen or nineteen. A friend of mine was recently married and is now finding it really hard to adjust in the new family. Both the partners are equally young and restless, so they are having a host of troubles between them, also.

In India, marriage has been and will be the end-all-and-be-all of a girls life. Steps taken include grooming the girl with the right qualities of ‘compromise, sharing, respecting elders and be understanding’. Countless fairness and beauty products have had record sales because of this great obsession of ours. Though this concept is not solely relevant to India, the West seems to have grown out of it. Or has it? While the West may have given up on the institution of marriage still the hunt and the fixation for having a male partner is prevalent. He may be a boyfriend or a husband, but HE has to be there. And just like Indian girls get countless tips on how to behave in her ‘real home’, the ultra-chic, emancipated western mothers are not without their pointers for catching the perfect HE. Heaven knows how many more seconds will have to pass on Lord Bramha’s wrist-watch for us to finally get out of this mindset.

Here’s what I get for having fulfilled that age old aim of all damsels young and old…. A lot of ‘You almost gave me a heart attck,’ ‘What were you thinking, you are not that old,’ ‘Wow, you are sure living your life on fast forward!?’ (I have no clue what that one meant).

You would think that this would be the end. No. Now comes the inevitable next question- So when are you planning to have children?

Ciao,
Kauphy.