Dud Sea Scrawls The Writing, clearly, is not on the wall!

One of the worst part about gaining weight is .. I don’t feel like shopping. Its atrocious to enter a dim-lit changing room loaded with all the splendid apparels.. only to discover with vexation that I hardly fit into any. Whoever said shopping is the best therapy .. finally I settled for picking up some stuff that saved me from this trauma – funky stilettos, gauzy scarves n a crescent shaped red handbag .. that my mom didn’t like at all .. “Are you sure …you want to buy this? Its so kiddish .. the color n everything” But I was adamant ..

It was sucha major consolation.. when I was sliding my toes in a red leather slingback and uncovered that despite all those kilos ..I had accumulated everywhere .. my shoe size is the same…ergo I came back home kicking my kitten heels forgetting for a while.. about all the unsightly bulges n waited for an opportunity to flaunt my latest collections. Sigh .. one of those sordid times ..when I miss having a man in my life.. I so dang want sometimes ..Ok forget it .. lets not get into every detail ..

Thankfully just a day after (last Sunday!)..my girl friends A and S ..called up n we planned a rendezvous at the Hookah Bar. So there was I .. displaying my bargains with panache … fluttering my floral georgette scarf n twirling my Hobo bag ..
I was fishing for some adulation .. but what I got made my eyes pop out in amazement .. S was holding my bag n saying .. “Ohh whatta cute slutty bag” When she saw me battling with that “compliment” she started laughing .. “It was a compliment” she insisted. I had no other choice other than accepting. She is 3 years younger than me.. times been altering swiftly ..its more like a generation gap .. these younger ones flabbergast me with their “rich vocabulary”
I’d been staying away from drinks n all the extra calories. I curbed my urge to have beer and placed my order for Fruit Daiquiris. I don’t like vodka based drinks ..white rum n fruits should be ok.. I mostly round off with tequila shots .. so maybe one more Frozen Margaritas.. that is all I promised myself ..
But my eyes were stuck on the food part ..a yummy preparation completely knocked my socks off..(forgot the name … now who cared for calories ..)

My friends wanted to dance .. but with all that food in front of me .. I did not want to budge. They were swinging somewhere .. while I kept relishing my food ..all by myself..

After about 10-15 minutes a suave looking guy came over my table n asked if he could sit there. I thought the place might be crowded .. so I nodded n plunged again into the delightful aroma of cheese jalapeno .. salsa .. n blah blah ..
Meanwhile.. quiet unconsciously I was trying to conceal the “slutty bag” with my scarf.. sucha frightful adjective it was ..

After initial discomfort this guy was trying to get cozy with me ..
Another shock awaited me .. I had forgotten .. how to flirt. I so wished he could leave me alone ..
But I gave myself a mental slap .. for being so uptight ..sharpened my claws .. n inspected him ..he was well dressed but had a diamond stud in his left ear .. eeks I hate men with earrings .. but all in all he wasn’t bad ..
My only criterion when it comes to men ..I barely know is – height .. a tall man with good enough physique is a turn on.. he qualified ..
Another put off was his first question .. “what do you do?”
I really think its high time I should find a pleasant job. I keep scrambling for an appropriate answer .. if a blogger asks me what you do ? I say .. I blog .. if a chatter asks me what you do .. I say I chat .. but this is real . .what should I tell him ? I thought for a while n said .. “I’m a homemaker”
Obviously he frowned .. “you mean you are married ?”
“Ohh yes I am.” was my reply
“your husband …?” he stuttered ..
“Well hes outta station ..n I thought I should unwind ..”
I gave that picture perfect smile .. the kinds perfect homemakers give in TV commercials with a disinfectant in their hand ..
I kept blabbering.. I’m not sure what .. coz by the time my friends returned I was 3 drinks down .. a state when even dismal ragamuffins transform into recumbent heroes ..n my smile had morphed into that of a seductress ..
He was surprised to see them .. coz he thought I was alone…but he moved .. subsequently
It was time for me n my pals to chatter . I had completely forgotten about this guy. There was so much to talk. S always manages to date the oldest man working in her company. According to her she has ‘something’ for 40 plus men .. this intellectual orgasm crap is beyond me .. but her stories are always hilarious. I enjoy them while A gives enraged looks .. shes our moral queen .. It was very much like old familiar times .. I hardly have any stories to share these days.. so I was the patient listener ..

When we came out .. I was stumbling to find my chauffeur .. out of nowhere the guy I was flirting with appeared .. it actually took me a while to recognize him… coz he said Hi again. I was thinking .. I had seen him somewhere ..
He was stammering again and slowly tried to hand me a card ..
I gave him a suspicious expression .. so he said .. “ohh this is my card .. just in case you feel like dropping by my place .. I live alone .. you know .. till the time your husband is back in the city…”
LOL .. I wasn’t embarrassed .. I could not control my guffaw.. while I tossed the card ..
My friends are always the ones who find my driver n car .. coz they don’t drink like me .. They had discovered my driver who was found ogling at femmes in shorts somewhere n were back in time to rescue me ..
The hapless guy almost ran away ..
It was my poor red handbag .. or my insanity ..I’m not sure but was surely a funny day ..

PS- This is my usual everyday ramble that keeps happening to me n I post them at my blogspot.I don’t know about the sensibilities of people here .. I hope I haven’t offended anyone.. this is just me. Some users felt ..after yesterday I was disheartened .. hence I thought of posting a quick blog. I intend to post serious stuff here .. n writing a story again .. might take long ..
But I’m gonna be back ..
Thanks ..