Dud Sea Scrawls The Writing, clearly, is not on the wall!

After the first meeting hassles, everything was relatively easier. We talked a lot on the phone. When I say a lot, I mean A LOT. We had lots of long talks on the phone before we could work out a suitable time and place for the next meeting. It was fine by me; I think there is something very romantic and relaxing about talking on the phone. I tend to be much more spontaneous on the chat and the phone particularly when I do not know the person well.

Friends at the hostel were definitely surprised by this change. For someone who seemed not very interested in guys and marriage just a few days ago, I was talking an awful lot to THE GUY on the phone. The looks of surprise turned to looks of amusement and then finally they gave up. We continued with our talking and meeting and thinking (and maybe a lil bit of day-dreaming too, lolz). Meanwhile the pressure was building up at home, both at his place and mine. Parents wanted an “answer” and we were just not ready to provide one. We wanted to wait for some more time and see how everything works out. Well, but just as the “Click” theory (u have to check part II for this) had not gone well with my parents, even “wanting to know each other more” was proving to be a difficult concept to explain. Well for all you arranged-marriage-challenged guys you are not supposed to take so much of time to reach a decision in a typical arranged marriage scenario and hence the parent’s impatience. But, then they knew better than to push me at this point. After all, it had taken a long - long time to reach here.

We met up with each other’s friends and colleagues and started going out together in a group. This was one of the happiest or rather the “Most Heady” times in my life. Parties, long phone conversations, late night drives, midnight biryanis, stolen meetings, mail exchanges, romantic songs; both of us were completely caught in the romance and the novelty of the moment. It was a heady euphoric feeling and I just glided along. It was sometime during this time that we finally said “YES” and an engagement date was finalized.

However, the most fun was to be had when my friends met my “to-be-fiancé”. Let me just pause here and tell you something more about HIM. He is the typical “nice” and “decent” guy, comfortable and respectful with girls but never really understanding them and never really trying to get very close to them. He is not a nerd or a geek but well hmm just a “nice” decent guy. Almost all his close friends with one or two exceptions are guys and work, friends, sports and music are the passions of his life (Or rather were the only passions till I came along, at least this is the version I like to believe ). In short, he was just the kind of guy my naughty and high-spirited friends could not resist teasing and trying to put him in a difficult spot. They would shamefacedly tease him, flirt with him and try and teach him all about girls, and how to give them compliments and what not. They just wanted to hassle him. But oh boy, was I in for a surprise!! He handled my friends beautifully after the initial bewilderment. It was great fun seeing him go through all this. At times I felt sorry for the guy because you know getting a “fiancé” is one thing but getting half -a –dozen muhboli saalis is just too much for a guy to handle. I know I was being totally “wicked” but it was just too much fun and hey I did bail him out at times.

We got engaged. Ours was quite a typical guy-gal thing. A guy like this and an equally clueless gal with idealistically romantic dreams and almost impossible expectations. We had a lot of learning to do and it was a lot of fun and a little heartache too. One day, I came across this except from Khalil Gibran’s “The Prophet” regarding the concept of love/marriage.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

I found it very idealistically romantic and I mailed it to him. I expected a “huh!?” in the reply. But I was in for a big surprise. The reply was long, deep and it made perfect sense to me. I just could not believe my own eyes and I was like “Wow!!” I started thinking about the different ways both of us had changed in a period of 5-6 months and out came this poem. This poem was written in jest and has to be taken with a little bit of salt but it captures a lot of things.

Once upon a time, long long time back
there lived a guy, who was called Jack.
Happily high on rum, soda and whisky,
he thought marriage was a game too risky.

These days he even talks about “wine & dine”,
and is not averse to flowers, cards and other things fine.
How it all will end, nobody can say,
but he tries hard to understand eve’s puzzling way(s).

We married. And as they say, “Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener”. Marriage was and still is a crazy roller coaster ride and yes a lot of learning too. We had our share of initial hiccups and are learning our lessons. The most difficult lesson for me was to learn how to let it go, how to give the other person his space and let him be his own person. The crazy foolish girl I was, I thought Love was all about being together always and dreamed of a guy who would be completely engrossed with me. Lolz; I know it sounds funny now and this was inspite of all the Gibran – like verses I found beautiful; maybe I was a bit of hypocrite . But hopefully I know better now.

Life is indeed beautiful now and there are a lot of moments to cherish and celebrate. That heady euphoric feeling has settled down to be a warm, contended and really happy indescribable feeling. (I wish I could put it any better ). It is really amazing the wonders a lil bit of “Love” can do for you and your life.

“How it all will end, nobody can say” but yeah I am having loads of fun.

“Oh, I’m having so much fun!!
Well Barbie, we’re just getting started
Oh, I love you, Ken”